Geek Guide to Life A User Manual for Optimized Living in an Unparsed String Theory of Alternative Realities . . .

Love of my Life

You know, I knew it all along--knew what I wanted, craved, what made me feel most alive.  Writing. It's always been that way. But it is only lately that I find myself actually consistently doing something about it. Okay, that's not entirely true. I once quit my job to write, but could only afford to live for about a month without a job . . . they let me go earlier than I had planned, and other money miscalculations put the kabosh on it.

For a while, I wrote every evening. But then I stopped. My excuse is that life got in the way.  But the truth is that excuses got in the way.  Why did I spend years listening to and even finding more excuses to keep me from doing the thing I love?  You know the answer. Fear. Thoughts that devour, and stuff you back into the womb because you are afraid of what you might have to grow up into.

They say that love is letting go of fear, and now I am embracing my love and finding it is not entirely true.  When you tune into love, whether it be your calling or allowing love in your life, fear simply dissapates.  I'm not talking about need for love.  That's a different thing, which I think should go by another name.  I'm talking about when you open the spout wide and just allow yourself to gush.

I don't know if I will feel the same way about submitting my work for publication.  But it's definitely how I feel about the writing. I'm at 21,192 word in the first draft of my novel.  I simply love everything about what I'm doing, and that puts me into a place where I am in love with my life.  The sidewalks are friendlier when I walk on them, my legs are stronger. The sky smiles at me. Yeah. This is what life is for. I write, therefore I am.